Snow_Snow_and more_Snow

We woke up this morning to about 4 inches of snow.  One of the girls favorite things to do is help Ron shovel the driveway in the morning before he goes to work.  They have their own shovel and everything, but we're going to have to get another one because they've started fighting over it.  So we all got bundled up this morning and went outside to play in the snow a bit.  

I was trying to get a picture of Emi eating the snow off her gloves but...
Beeba wanted to make "no balls" but she didn't have any gloves so I wouldn't let her so she just shoveled a bit instead.  After getting "freezing told" outside we came inside and made some hot cocoa with whip cream to warm us all up. Yum!
Ok, I was unable to get any action shots of Eden yet, but I'm still trying!  Instead I got a picture of her cute little "pose".  This is her version of sitting, she hasn't taken the time to ever really learn to sit because she just want to get down and get around so she does her little pose instead and I think it's just adorable.  Today she actually crawled over to me and pushed her self up to her knees on my leg!  She's going to be pulling up on things in no time, I think she is definatly going to be an early walker...look out world here she comes!

Crawling

In all the commotion that's been going on I've forgotten to post that Eden has started crawling.  She's been rolling all over the place for the past month and a half but now she's figured out her very own crawling style.  She dosn't do the traditional up on the hands and knees crawling, though I don't think it'll be long before she's doing that too, she does this sniper type crawl.  The crawl that snipers do though the grass in movies on their bellies, well she does that.  It's pretty cute.  I'll see if I can get some action shots later today.

Where to start...

So, it's only been 3 days since I've blogged but so much has happened in that time that I'm not sure where I should start.  I guess the beginning is the best place.  On Friday the 12th my little girl, Emi, turned 4.  Mauri came and picked her up and took her to play with Katelyn and Ellie for a few hours.  Ron actually got to come home at a semi decent time and after we dropped off his co worker, Donald, in Lehi we went to the Asian Buffet.  Emi wanted to go to the "sushi store" for dinner.  After dinner we went to Wal Mart and got...
Emi's new princess bike!!  She was so happy to get it and rode it all though the store while we did our shopping and even rode it out of the store back to the car.  She did get a little scared in the parking lot though when there was a car coming at her so she freaked out a little bit and ended up falling off of it, without injury though.

Saturday we had her party and had to run around and get all the stuff we needed for it during the day.  It was a nice party, the family and Mauri came and we had pizza because that's what Emi wanted.  She got lots of really nice presants, her favorite being the Tinkerbell art kit that her uncle Jeff and aunt Elise got for her.  She loves it so much that the watercolor paints that came in it are almost all gone!  She really likes her new clothes too, she got a really nice pair of pink cordory pants from her grandma Kathy that have some flowers embroidered on the bottom of one of the pant legs and another pair of leopard print pants from aunt Dannielle she's been alternating between the two of them since she got them.

Sunday,  I had really bad cramps, menstral type cramps but don't have my period. I've also been sooo tired.  I'm not really to sure what's going on but am hoping it's nothing serious.  But Ron and I watched the 4th season of Lost together (we actually started it saturday night) and it was great to get to see him.  He was working late all last week to meet a deadline and coming home between 12 and 2 every night/morning.  So we were only really seeing him for maybe 30-45 mins each day.  So it was really nice to cuddle up and spend time with him.

Monday, yesterday, started off like any other.  I still had really bad mestural type cramping and the girls were a bit wilder than usual, but I think they're getting cabin fever.  It's been really, really cold out and they haven't been able to go outside like they used to.  Ron got to come home at 7, it's so great getting him home again at normal times! The girls were crawling all over him and then I gave them a bath and put them to bed.  I then sent Ron to the store to get diapers.  

I started to get a feeling that something wasn't right after about 20 mins, I was just feeling really anxious so I called him.  His phone rang and rang and then it sounded like someone answered it and then hung up.  So I waited a little bit longer...after he was gone for an hour I really knew something was wrong.  I was thinking that he'd been in an accident  been hurt, all the millions of terrible things that could possibly happen to someone when they're driving at night on icy roads.  I started trying to call him again but his phone was turned off, just going straight to voice mail.  

Ok, trying to stay calm.  I went back down stairs with Eden and continued watching the movie I'd been watching and worry some more.  Then I heard my phone ringing up stairs and was sprinting up the stairs but wasn't able to get to it in time.  It was an unrecognizable 800 number and no message was left,weird.  Taking my phone I went back down stairs.  More movie watching and more worrying and lots of getting up and pacing.  About 1/2 an hour later another call from the mystery 800 number I answered it and a pre recorded voice was telling me that I had a collect call from an inmate at the correctional facility and would I accept a collect call from Ron O'Hara.  Unfortuantly I have a cell phone and was unable to accept.  But it gave me a number to call back.  I called the jail and they told me that Ron had been picked up on a warrant for driving without insurance (this is from right after we moved to utah and into the house in Lehi) and told me that he could be bailed out and what I needed to do.  

Ok, I enter full on freak out mode...trying to calm myself down I started calling around trying to find the van, being sure that it had been impounded.  Not having any success there I decided to start looking up bonds men.  I did a search on google and randomly picked a number and called the guy.  As I started to explain to him what was going on he was just like oh, yeah, I've been talking with him and you just need to come get him out, pay $100 and that would be that.  He told me that he'd tried to call me but had written down the wrong number...how crazy is it that out of all the bonds places google pulled up I just happened to call the one who Ron had been talking to! 

So, I need to get him out of jail.  I'm at home, with no car with 3 sleeping children.  Ok, call his mom  it goes straight to her voicemail, so I leave her a message telling her to call me back immediatly.  I'm sure I sounded pretty frantic despite my efforts to keep myself calm.  My thought processes wern't working so well, basically all that was going though my head was "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" over and over again.  It's like 10:30 at this time (I'd sent him out at 8:30) so I called Jeff, unfortunatly waking him up, so sorry about that Jeff!  But I'm glad that I called him, because then I found out that Kathy had left her phone at Utah Press that morning.  

She dosn't have her phone!!!???  Ok, pace around some more and wonder what in the world I'm going to do to get him home!!!  Get myself calmed down a bit and decide to call Tim and Dannielle to see if they have a number that I could call her at WesCorp with.  They don't but tell me that she should be getting off work soon and that they would go over to her house and wait for her to come home so that she could call me.  

5 mins after I get off the phone with them Kathy sends me an IM saying that she got my message what was going on.  I didn't find this out till after Ron got home but she had stopped at the grocery store on her way home from work to check her messages, Thank God!!! And Tim and Dannielle wern't even at her house yet.  So I told her what was going on and gave her the number of the bondsman so that she coud go and pick him up.  

Amazing woman that she is, drove though the snow to the jail in Provo and got him out! Drove him back to the wal mart, they didn't impound the car!!!  He bought diapers and got home about 2:30.  I am so greatful for so many things!  It could have been so much worse, because he had the warrant for the no insuarnce thing his license had been suspended but all the officer did was take him in on the warrant.  Didn't site him for driving on a suspended license or for the cars registration being expired and he didn't have the car impounded!  God bless him!  He got home and I hugged him just so thankful to have him home and that he was ok.  That I was able to get everything worked out and get him home.  That he hadn't been in an accident that he wasn't lying on the side of the road dead.

And thinking about it today I'm noticing all the little things that made it all work out.  Me calling him when I just knew something was going on, calling the right bondsman out of the 15 that google gave me numbers for, Kathy stopping at the grocery store on her way home from work to check her messages...all the little ways that the Lord made it alright, making the best out of a bad situation.  I couldn't be more greatful or thankful.

So, that brings us to today...today my grandmother died.  They say she was in no pain and resting peacefully.  I'm glad for that, she's been in so much pain this last little while.  I'm so glad that she could go without anymore suffering and that she's isn't in anymore pain.  It still hurts to know she's gone, and that I couldn't say goodbye or see her or tell her how much I love her one last time.  How much she ment to me and how much I was thankful to her for all her help raising my sister and I when my mom was working all the time.  I hope she knows that.

I've been saying thank you a lot recently, thank you too all my loved ones and family for all the help, love and support they've been givng me in these really hard times I've been going through recently.  Again, thank you to all my friends and family, to all my loved ones, Thank you!  I can't ever say thank you enough or express how much it means to me.

 

That brings

Gingerbread Waffles and Hot Chocolate sauce

Ok, I found the link to this recipe on another blog that I have been reading and it sounded wayyy to good not to share.  I plan on making it tomorrow morning, but as pancakes since I don't have a waffle iron.  I'll let you all know how it turns out.

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)

• 1 cup light molasses
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 egg
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
•  
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 tablespoons butter

DIRECTIONS

1. In a small saucepan, heat molasses and 1/2 cup butter until almost boiling. Remove from heat and let cool slightly. Stir in baking soda, milk and egg.
2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, ginger, cinnamon and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the molasses mixture. Mix until smooth.
3. Spray preheated waffle iron with non-stick cooking spray. Pour mix onto hot waffle iron. Cook until golden brown. Serve hot with chocolate sauce.
4. To make chocolate sauce: In a saucepan, combine water, 1 cup sugar, cornstarch, cocoa powder and 1 teaspoon salt. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Remove from heat and add vanilla and 2 tablespoons butter; stir until smooth.

Numb

I've been feeling so numb the past couple of weeks.  I'm having to force myself to wirte today.  I kept meaning to do it yesterday and I sat down about 6 times to blog something but just couldn't bring myself to follow through with it.  There's so many things to do and I have so little energy.  Emi's 4th birthday party is on saturday and the house is nowhere near being ready for company.  I haven't unpacked a box in days.  

I've just been sitting here watching the world go on around me.  But I need to get this out, need to write it down.  I feel so alone.  I feel lost, I just don't know what to do anymore.  Ron's deadline is tomorrow, I'm hoping after that he'll be home.  Maybe that will help a bit?  Relieve some of the pressure?

Challenges

These 3 posters pretty much sum up the way I've been feeling this last little while.  Might as well get a laugh out of my troubles, right?  Thanks for posting the blooging poster, Mauri, it made me go look at their site and find these gems.

Cancer

I'm sure that most of you saw my post a few weeks ago on my friend Mauri's mom, Darla and her breast cancer.  Unfortunatly, she is not the only person that I know who is suffering with cancer.  My own grandmother, Sharron, also has cancer, liver and lung.  She's doing very badly and is going on hospice care.  She has sores all over her body from the chemo and is sleeping 20 hours out of the day.  

She's been pretty sick now off and on for years and I believe this is her second bout of cancer.  The Dr's tell my granpa that she only has maybe 3 or 4 more months.  I haven't seen her in something like 14 years.  Since we moved away from Florida when I was 14.  She was a second mother to my sister and I when we were growing up.  She took care of us when my mom was working 2 jobs to support us.  She lived right down the street from us and I used to walk there on sunday mornings to go to church with my aunt Sherry.

It's killing me that she's dying and I'm not going to be able to see her again before she goes.  

Protect our Children...from underware?!?

Ok, so there are a lot of times when I have a hard time fitting in in Utah.  It's not always easy being a liberal from California in an ultra conservative state.  But nothing has been quite as confusing, or well, confusing as what I happened to see on saturday in front of university mall has me baffeled beyond belief.  A protest, now that in itself isn't so weird but I expected it to be about gay marriage or perhaps some political thing I don't know about but no...

Here were some of the signs they were carrying "Protect our children" ok, so I'm thinking, yeah protect our children, what are we protecting our children from?  

"Honk for decency" ok, where's the indecency we're to be protecting from?

And then I saw the sign that explained it all "Boycott Victoria's Secret"

What!?!  Did I miss something?  When did people start crusading against underware?  My only problem with victoria's secret is that they don't carry my size bras, but other than that...protect our children...from underware?!

What's so indecent about underware, from what do we need to protect our children?  The bras or the panties or wait maybe it's the pajamas?  I'm so cunfused!

6 months old!

I know I'm a couple of days late posting this but this lovely young lady above you just turned 6 months old on Tuesday!

Working though it

I've been feeling pretty down these past few days.  Again, me being overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done and of course here I am on the computer blogging instead of unpacking or organizing my house like I should.  Moving is so stressful, but I've really got to get everything in order for Emi's birthday party next weekend.  My little girl is turning 4, I can't believe it!

I think I'm defintaly going through with drawls from not having my celexa this past week.  I thoght it would be fine not to take it  for a week or so.  But I'm really starting to notice some side effects from not having it.  I have no energy and I'm lethargic I've also had an almost constant head ache this past week.  And today I've been having these electric shock kinda feelings.  I can also feel my mood declining.  I'm starting to get that feeling of hopelessness again.  But with nothing really to feel hopeless about...

I'm feeling pretty isolated here.  I met a few of my neighbors and they're really nice, especially, my new next door neighbor.  She has a little girl named Gentry who's 3.  I just need to work up the energy to go and visit.  Sometimes making new friends is so tiring.  Which is such a strange thing for me to say, I love to meet new people.  I'm a very socialble girl, usually.  I just want my old friends right now, people I don't have to explain things to, people who already know me.  It all is just so exhausting, I don't even have the energy/will to reach out.

Annie and Eden are sleeping right now so I'm going to go and spend some one on one time with Emi.  I feel like I've been a terrible mother to her this last little while, it just feels like I'm always yelling at her, always angry with her.  I need to breathe and just let somethings go...she's into EVERY thing all the time.  

Ugh

I do not feel good today.  My head is killing me...time for another nap.

Tender Mercies

I just read a post today on another blog that I follow about Tender Mercies. I've never heard of these before but think they are my new favorite thing. I've been sitting here thinking about them all day and noticing/realizing them all, all the ones I've had over the past month or so when I thought I was going to lose it.

For those of you who don't know, tender mercies, are what the mormons refer to, as Stephanie put it, mini miracles. Most of the time they seem like coincidences that lift us up in some way or other. Small boosts that keep us going, that let us know that we are loved. Words of encouragement from a friend or hearing a song that lifts your heart when you're down.

I think these are wonderful things and I am starting to feel so very greatful for them this past few months. I've been going over a list of them in my head all day and again just wanted to say thank you too a few people.

Most especially, Jeff and Elise, for being so very great to us, for taking us into your home and letting us stay with you and invade on your space. For borrowing the trailer form Jeff's work so that we could use it to move, for helping us pack and haul it all into it, for storing the trailer at your house and driving it to the new one and helping us unpack it. For having Matt and Meg come and help out. For just being you. Even though Annie broke Elise's cell phone and the girls somehow broke their wedding picture frame some time when I wasn't looking. You guys are most definatly one of my tender mercies!

To Kathy, Dannielle, Tim and Katie, for helping me pack when I was so overwhelmed by everything and coming back again to help us move out. To Kathy, for hosting Thanksgiving dinner and bringing toys over to Jeff and Elise's house for the girls, for going to wal mart and buying diapers for me when I ran out

To Jodi, for getting me out of my head and letting me come craft with her. For driving to pick me up and help her and for being a good friend.

To Mauri for being such a good friend and neighbor. I'm really going to miss having you right next door.

To my mom and sister who are always there for me.

And to all my friends who have given me words of encouragement and support these last few months when I have really needed them.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all!!

I hope I haven't left anyone out. I love you all!