What do you think

How do you like my new background.  I mostly feel that this is how my life is.  Rusty and falling apart.  The car especially, it's basic form is still there but it dosn't go.  It needs a lot of work and I've been trying to hard to get it to go.  I had the engine running for a bit but now...I guess it's back to the shop.

So tired.

It was a very busy unrestful weekend.  I'm so very tired all the time again and now I can't sleep at night either.  Every day I got without my meds gets worse.  Ron says that we can't get them this month either.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm sinking again.

Saturday I had a very nice evening.  Mauri had girls night over at her house and it was good to see my old friends again.  It was nice to pretend that I was a normal functioning person for a couple of hours.  Nice not to have my families constand demands on my time.  Nice to just sit and be for a couple of hours.

Sunday was grocery shopping day and well, it was just grocery shopping.  Nothing very exciting at all.  So far not wedding plans.  I think that Ron dosn't want to do it at all.  That it all sounds like a hassle to him and that the idea of marriage offends him.  

Today, we spent the day outside with the neighbors while the children swam.  I didn't want to leave my house, just wanted to stay on my couch reading but I went out and the girls had a great time like they always do and it was so nice and warm out.  I'm glad I forced myself out of the house.  And agin it was nice to pretend for a few hours that I was normal well adjusted person letting her childen play.