I'm totally not crazy!

I just had a facebook friend tell me that it's possible for small tears/holes in the aminotic sac to seal themselves. I knew I wasn't crazy!

Labor and Delivery

Ok, so yesterday morning at about 9:30 after emptying my bladder 3 times in a row I was blowing my nose and had a medium sized trickle of fluid run down my leg. Oh crap I thought that was my water. Changed underware and tried to go pee again to make sure that my bladder really was empty. It was, so went and got the kids juice and hurridily went and grabbed some baby clothes to throw in the wash so that baby could have some clean clothes to wear.

The blowing the nose, fluid leaking incident happened several more times through out the moring. But no real contractions. Decided to wait until actual labor/contractions set in before going in to the hospital because of my intense hatred of piticoin. Fluid stopped leaking sometime druring the day and I was still not having any real regular contractions. Lots of uncomfortable tightenings and occasional contrations but nothing regular. Finally decided I should go into the hospital to get stuff checked out at around 1:30ish.

I called Ron's mom to come pick up the girls and she got to the house about a half hour later and took the girls with her. Ron and I were off to the hopsital after making an all important gatorade stop along the way. One cannot have a baby and not have gatorade handy, it is a labor essential for me. Anyway, addmitted to L&D and strapped down to the bed, thankfully no IV. Started watching TV and had several tests done to try and get a positive check for amniotic fluid. The nurse couldn't find any. So we were there for about 3 hours with nothing really going on, no regular contractions, no more fluid and me only dialiated to a 2. They sent me home, me feeling really stupid and consideralble amounts of uncomfortable pain.

The nurse thinks that there was possibly a leak high up and wants me to go back into fetal medicine to have a non stress test and to have my fluid levels checked. I have no idea what the hell a non stress test is, but am obsessively wondering how much it's going to cost us since we're paying for this delivery out of pocket.

I am feeling SOOO stupid. I really swear that it was fluid and I wasn't just peeing all over myself, but am relaly starting to doubt myself. But when I blow my nose I always cross my legs and hold my bladder really tight so I don't pee on myself. And it happened several times. And to just put the cherry on the cake I went and got a pedicure last night after the awful hospital ordeal and it got all ruined, it really makes me want to cry. But really it just goes right along with the rest of my day.

I'm so over all of it. I don't want to be pregnant anymore but at the same time I really don't know what I am going to do with another baby...I wish I could just go to sleep for a month and just have this all be over :(

Shower Onesises

Here are the pictures of the onesies from the baby shower, all except Dina's she was going to finish her's at home and I haven't gotten it back from her yet.

This is Mauri's

and Jamie's

and mine, I don't think it turned out so very well...

Elise's pretty flower

and Brittney's

It was such a fun activity! I've now got applique fever and am making some for all my friends who are having babies.

Sadness...

Today has been a very upsetting day for me. I just found out that one of the guys I was really close friends with in High School was arrested and is being charged with 10 counts of bad stuff with kids :(.

http://www.marinij.com/ci_14743362?source=most_viewed

Ugh, it just makes me so sick to my stomach to think that someone you once knew is doing these awful kinds of things and not only someone you once knew but someone you were once close friends with.

Baby Shower

Today was a great day! My wonderful friends from Lehi, Mauri, Brittney and Jamie threw me the best baby shower today. It was small there were 6 of us and we had the best time. Brittney brought all kinds of wonderful treats, homemade lemon bars, chocolate peanut butter sandwich cookies and white chocolate chip cookies. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and this amazing creamy tomato basil soup that Mauri made for lunch. Mauri was also super awesome and went to the Cocoa Bean Cupcake Cafe and bought some delicious cupcakes for us to share.

The atmosphere was comfortable and very relaxed and we sat around and talked and had the best time. Mauri also had the coolest activity planned for us all. She bought a bunch of little baby onesies and had some fabric scrapes set out and each person got to pick what fabric they wanted to use and cut out a design or shape and sew it on to the little onesies. It was so much fun and I think really special to have your friends make their very own little outfits for the baby. Despite all the laughing and complaining we all did over our "stellar" sewing skills all the onesies turned out really great. I'll have to take some pictures of them all once I get the stupid memory card for my camera replaced tomorrow.

I have the best friends ever!

So restless...

I am so restless today but in a very odd way, I feel purposeless. I'm frustrated and restless with no outlet. The past 3 days I've been a whirlwind, I got through and did all the piled up laundry and folded it and got it put away. Cleaned the girls room and moved their dresser in there, finally. Helped my friend, Dina, tear down her old blinds and put up drapes. Well tried to help her put up drapes but the rod that we bought was to short for the length of the front window. She and I have the same floor plan for our house and the windows in the front rooms are over 12' long. I cleaned my bathroom and put together a new over the toilet shelving unit, I cleaned the kitchen, I've organized, I've shopped and I've done it all through the pain of this stupid pregnancy.

Then we have today, all my plans for taking all the crap I want to get rid of to the DI and taking the girls to story time at the library have been thwarted because it was inconvienent for Ron to let me have the van today. I slept like crap last night, lots of contractions and my hips were killing me. Everytime I moved it felt like I was being stabbed. All Ron did this morning was bitch at me about how all his newly laundered clothes, freshly folded and put away, all smelt like cat piss. We don't have a cat, they all smell like laundry detergent. Apparently, he dosn't like the new scent. But instead of just saying he dosn't like the way the laundry detergent smells he made a huge production of changing shirts 5 times and throwing his clothes all over the floor of my newly clean bedroom floor. Bastard. Then he dosn't give me the car because it would inconvienence him by about 5 mins this evening when he has to drop the girls and I back off at home before he goes to play magic tonight.

On a whim I decided to die my hair red again the other night. The color turned out awful, yesterday I looked like a creamcicle. I was bad. I went and bought another color, I just wanted a nice auburn color, is that so hard to ask? Apparently it is, I'm not happy with the way this one turned out either. I don't like my hair looking un natural and the smell of the die still in my hair has been making me nauseaus. Guess that'll teach me to do stupid spur of the moment things when I'm pregnant.

I'm guessing that Emi didn't get into the charter school. They started notifying parents on the 8th of acceptance. Their web site says that they'll post a list of the wait listed students at the school on the 18th. Maybe it's just me but that seems really dumb to me. Why whouldn't they post the wait listed names on the website or e mail the parents. Now I guess I've got to go to the stupid school to see if her name is even on the list.

Ok, like I said, I'm restless and discontent today.

*********

Ok, Ron just sent me a text and he got a message from Noah Webster, Emi was accepted!!! And my dear friends Brittney and Mauri want to throw a little get to get together/baby shower for me next week! I think the day is starting to look up :)

I have found heaven!

To everyone who dosn't live here in Utah, I'm so sorry that you'll never have the chance to experience this place but to all my Utah friends, I have found a little slice of heaven on earth. Also known as The Cocoa Bean Cupcake Cafe in Provo, 1774 N. University Parkway #20 and as the name implies, it's a cupcake cafe. Some of the best cupcakes I've ever had, actually! The also make frappes and cocoa drinks and what's really cool is that they make their cocoa espresso style so it's really rich and flavorful.

They've got 30 something different flavors that they make and they alternate them daily, so everyday they've got 8 different flavors you can get when you go in. I got the Raspberry Chocolate Cheesecake and it was sinfully delicious! They are some of the moistest cupcakes you'll ever have, promise. You can get a combo cupcake and frappe for $5, I got a white chocolate raspberry frappe to go with the raspberry cheesecake cupcake. I'm having major cravings just writing about this here! The frappe was so light and fluffy and so smooth...mmmm.

Everyone who lives remotely close needs to go here!

Spring has Sprung...

in my kitchen. So maybe the weather's not so great outside and we're still getting snow but in my kitchen, hyacinths are in bloom!

The Invisible Woman

A friend of mine posted this on facebook and I thought it was pretty great. I know I've felt this way very often...