Labor and Delivery

Ok, so yesterday morning at about 9:30 after emptying my bladder 3 times in a row I was blowing my nose and had a medium sized trickle of fluid run down my leg. Oh crap I thought that was my water. Changed underware and tried to go pee again to make sure that my bladder really was empty. It was, so went and got the kids juice and hurridily went and grabbed some baby clothes to throw in the wash so that baby could have some clean clothes to wear.

The blowing the nose, fluid leaking incident happened several more times through out the moring. But no real contractions. Decided to wait until actual labor/contractions set in before going in to the hospital because of my intense hatred of piticoin. Fluid stopped leaking sometime druring the day and I was still not having any real regular contractions. Lots of uncomfortable tightenings and occasional contrations but nothing regular. Finally decided I should go into the hospital to get stuff checked out at around 1:30ish.

I called Ron's mom to come pick up the girls and she got to the house about a half hour later and took the girls with her. Ron and I were off to the hopsital after making an all important gatorade stop along the way. One cannot have a baby and not have gatorade handy, it is a labor essential for me. Anyway, addmitted to L&D and strapped down to the bed, thankfully no IV. Started watching TV and had several tests done to try and get a positive check for amniotic fluid. The nurse couldn't find any. So we were there for about 3 hours with nothing really going on, no regular contractions, no more fluid and me only dialiated to a 2. They sent me home, me feeling really stupid and consideralble amounts of uncomfortable pain.

The nurse thinks that there was possibly a leak high up and wants me to go back into fetal medicine to have a non stress test and to have my fluid levels checked. I have no idea what the hell a non stress test is, but am obsessively wondering how much it's going to cost us since we're paying for this delivery out of pocket.

I am feeling SOOO stupid. I really swear that it was fluid and I wasn't just peeing all over myself, but am relaly starting to doubt myself. But when I blow my nose I always cross my legs and hold my bladder really tight so I don't pee on myself. And it happened several times. And to just put the cherry on the cake I went and got a pedicure last night after the awful hospital ordeal and it got all ruined, it really makes me want to cry. But really it just goes right along with the rest of my day.

I'm so over all of it. I don't want to be pregnant anymore but at the same time I really don't know what I am going to do with another baby...I wish I could just go to sleep for a month and just have this all be over :(